Life is often a very bumpy ride full of ups and downs along the way. A lot of people have this idea that things should always be perfect and fault free. If you share this point of view then the message I have for you is: stop being unrealistic. Setting goals and expecting the best of yourself is very important, but you should also accept setbacks along the way. A primary cause of goal failure, is a person's inability to cope with setbacks. This can be explained by the individual's lack of preparation in anticipating both the nature and the treatment of a setback.

It is important to always take the long view in life, accept that there are going to be setbacks and that change comes from learning. You need to remember that change requires effort and can take a lot more than you think. Shaping the life you want is worth the investment, so think about the resources, especially the time, that you are putting into your change programme. An effort to get the job done by taking short cuts will result in it actually taking longer.

You need to take time on thinking through the best methods that work for you. For example, let's say your goal is to lose weight, then rather than picking the latest fad, you should select a regime that suits you. Remember, though, not to be too stubborn if things do not work out; you should be flexible and adaptable to the situation. Temptation is another key ingredient in causing a setback, and even the best of us can succumb to it. So avoid actions, no matter how small, that may jeopardise your goals, such as keeping tempting foods in the house when you are trying to lose weight!

Ever thought about why people say that people who pass their driving test on the second time round make better drivers than first time passers? The answer is, of course, because the people who fail it the first time have a chance to learn from their mistakes and come back even stronger than before. If you are training for a race, you don't expect to make your best time on your first go. The same mindset we have used in these examples needs to be deployed in all of your goals. The better prepared you are the more ready you are to cope with obstacles. However, sometimes circumstances can be so unexpected that they catch us completely by surprise.
The idea of a life coaches asking you to get in touch with your spiritual  side is almost a cliché. Words like spirituality, peace and harmony  are said so many times they begin to lose their meaning. This is such a tragedy when we consider the rich history of spiritual philosophy across the ages. First, let us consider what exactly we mean by spirituality.

Despite its monastic origins, spirituality is not just a religious idea. We can define anybody who is getting in touch with their spiritual side to be anyone who believes in gaining knowledge, growing and developing within. The spiritual person is keenly self aware to the point of exactitude. The spiritual individual is able to examine their strengths and weaknesses with honesty and without anxiety. If you are spiritual you accept yourself as unique, capable, flawed, and yet incomplete. Because the perfect person does not exist, spiritual people are not anxious about their imperfections; they are comfortable in their own skin.

We associate spirituality as a state of harmony with the world. People who are spiritual tend to see themselves as part of the bigger picture. They are happy in the presence of others; they are happy being with themselves. Spirituality can mean different things to people of different faiths. But the essence of spirituality remains the same for all people of the world - a sense of contentment with their position in the world.

Life coaching can enable you to access your spirituality. When you are feeling spiritual, you can handle pretty much anything. Someone with a keen spiritual side is able to draw strength from any situation or event. You should think of spirituality as the treasure chest of all that is good and vibrant about you. It is, therefore, imperative to be spiritual if you desire any level of personal success. People who are spiritual take a philosophical attitude to things such as change, for they understand that change is essential for growth and development.

The spiritual individual is keenly optimistic and yet realistic. Being spiritual involves getting the balance right between their hopes and desires and skill sets and abilities. As a spiritual individual, you will not become disheartened with negative self appraisal; instead you will see it as an opportunity to improve.

Therefore, develop optimism - optimists are self-disciplined and persistent in what they want to achieve in their life. Optimists plan and take action to move forward. They constantly learn about how to get better at their skills. Their self-confidence helps them to look for solutions and leads them to success in their goals. If you are pessimistic it is time you shed your pessimistic attitude and develop optimism in its place. There is no place in the world of success for negative attitudes. Think about what you can do rather than what you cannot.

So, how can you tell how spiritual you are as an individual. The following exercise will help you to assess this. Another strategy which can help is to write down the worst possible result on one side of a piece of paper, and the best possible result on the other. The worst result of losing a job, for instance, might be, 'I'll be unemployed for the rest of my life.' The best might be, 'My next job will make me a millionaire.' It's common to focus on the worst possibility, but the best possibility may be equally likely.

End by writing down in the middle of the paper the real likely future: 'I'll look for another job. It may take a while, but in the end I'll find something I'm happy with, or a business perhaps' Now leave the paper alone and come back to it after 30 mins. With a fresh pair of eyes, look at what you have written and assess how dramatic, realistic, pessimistic and/or optimistic it is.

You see the number one, key word to defining spirituality is - balance. As the above exercise probably demonstrated, maintaining balance is harder than it sounds. Cool, calm, rational decision making needs optimism as a counterweight. Becoming more spiritual is a long process, without an end. Meditation is one of the best ways to fuel your spiritual side, and there are lots of free guides out there, available on the internet. Once you have emptied your mind you can fill it up with what ever you want.